Recently, a man asked me the following questions:
"Calle, can you tell me what's happening? My wife and I have been married for 15 years and after the first year, sex began to get smaller and less frequent My wife was simply not in the mood for it … she did not want to have sex … she had "headache" … she was "tired" or anything.
Now if we love once a month it's a miracle, and even then she obviously just "gives it" to me so I get up and go away. It does not seem to matter what I'm saying or doing, my wife just thinks not having any interest in sex. And so it has been for years. This was not until we got married and during the first year, but after that, just like her wish for sex, it just disappeared.  And now … the last thing I've discovered is that my wife seems to have an affair. Of course she denies it, but I look too many in ndikationer … too many red flags … and the last time we're angry I love it, it was certainly as if she had been to bed with another guy, and since then she has been even more distant and has removed my approaches yet stronger than she has before.
So my question is how can a woman who has not wanted sex in these years … who has avoided intimacy with me, has an affair with another man? It just does not matter to me … I do not understand! "
It's a good question, do not you think? How can a woman who apparently does not like or want sex go into gender with another man? Well, let's investigate what's really going on by ask another question …
What kind of man does your wife want?
The answer to this question is my famous line: "A woman wants a man that she can have a positive and sexual response. "A woman wants a man who understands and meets her needs. And she wants a man who thinks, behaves and operates in a way that's appealing, attractive and sexy."
And then the man who asked the question above did not give these things to his wife, she began to move away from him … she started to stop having sex with him.
BIG, BIG, different here … she did not stop have sex … she stopped having sex with him. she stopped sex with a man who did not hit her sexually.
Now the question was not that this mother was unable to turn around his wife was sexual. The question was that he had not yet learned how to do it.
As a comparison, imagine that soon after this man married his wife, she began to grow ugly and ugly until she Eventually, this terrible grotesque woman became. If this had happened, the man would have stopped having sex with his wife, right? Well for a man, it's primarily about physical appearance. For a wife, it's first and foremost to do with the feelings that the man she creates with her … and this man just needed to learn to create the right feelings inside her.
Your wife wanted sex bypass. She wants sex now. She wants sex in the future. So if your wife does not want sex with you, she will have it with someone else. If your wife does not want sex with you, I suggest using it as the motivation to become the kind of man your wife wants before she walks and finds another.
Now I want to raise a related point …
I help another man recently who also found myself in an almost identical situation … he and his wife had been married for 18 years, wife had resisted and rejected sex for years … and then he discovered that his wife had an affair, etc. At least when I started talking to this man, one of the things he kept over and over again …
"Overall, I have been a very good man and father!"  I'm sure you've heard other men say that about yourself, right? And in fact, you might have even said or thought about yourself.
But let's ask ourselves what does it really mean to say that you are a good man and father? Well, when you cook it all down, it means for most men the three things:
1. They are a decent provider.
2. They are not alcoholic or drug addicts.
3. They are not physically offensive.
Here's what men need to wake up and realize … None of these three things means that a man has satisfied, excited or generated a positive and sexual reaction in his wife against him. None of these three things means that a wife truly responds or admires or attracts her husband.
In fact, too often, "I've been a good man", just a man has been a soft, passive, be nice, put up with a lot of nonsense and mistake kind of guy … and that's not that kind of man , a woman wants a positive and sexual response to. So let me say that again …
A woman wants a man who understands and meets her needs. And she wants a man who thinks, behaves and works in a way that's appealing, attractive and sexy. For the sake of your marriage and any children, I would strongly encourage you to become this kind of man.
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. It is allowed to reprint this article ONLY if there is authorship of Calle Zorro, and a link to DoThisGetSex.com is included in it.